“Embrace what is so you can create what is yet be.”
“God, grant me the
serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things
I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
What A Difference Change Makes: A little over 100 years ago:
The average life expectancy in the United States was 47
The three leading causes of death in the U.S. were I. Pneumonia and influenza 2. Tuberculosis 3. Diarrhea
The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents an hour
There has been significant change in our society, wouldn’t you say?
How is change affecting you?
What is the biggest change in your life right now?
What makes change so hard?
How can we embrace change so that we can live life to the fullest?
My biggest change:
Recently my family experienced a huge change that was and still remains very difficult for us.
Despite my best efforts and greatest desires, I went through a divorce. Never in a million years did I (or most people who divorce) think this could ever happen. Well it did. Here I am--a therapist who is good at saving other’s marriages, but who couldn’t save my own. Yikes!!!
This was truly a humbling experience for me. For three years, I watched my marriage unravel. It takes two to get married and one to choose to get out.
I was mortified about what others would say, what they would think. At one point, I didn’t even want to go to the store in my small town for fear that someone might see me and that I would need to deal publicly with the humiliation and shame I felt.
But wait, that’s not all, even more heartbreaking for me was the pain felt by my four children. Their seemingly secure world came crashing down. It was a devastating to watch their faces as they learned of the divorce!
Life can surely take us on some crazy twists, turns, and occasionally off a cliff.
Why is change so hard? The answer lies in the sense of loss and uncertainty change brings. Do you agree?
Uncertainty is one of the most challenging aspects of change.
“It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to.” Marilyn Ferguson
Yet it is possible to get through the uncertainty and even become better because of it. It really is! Have you experienced a large change that rocked your confidence? Or are you experiencing the small to medium changes that are like pebbles in your shoe--a constant annoyance?
I hear people at my events saying, “I thought if we hunkered down for a year or two things would reach some level of normalcy, but they haven’t. So how do we move forward?” Here are some tools to help you navigate change in your life.
Embrace what is so you can create what is yet to be:
Regardless, change is a challenge even if the change is for the good. So, how can we better deal with change? Here are four of my favorite tools for coping with change:
Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss change brings. Acknowledge your emotions.
Make peace with the truth. Accept what is. Create a place inside of you that knows how to find truth and accept it.
Create a new vision of the outcome this change will bring into your life.
Act on your vision while simultaneously being open to your feelings of loss.
Time heals and the human spirit is resilient. My family is going to make it and we will do it with style.
Simply, embrace what is, so you can create what is yet to come.
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson
Remember, no matter the storm, take the helm by staying in this moment, making an inspired choice and acting on it. Remember I am pulling for you!